I have to admit. Life is Good. I know my friends probably think I say that too much but this phrase is just as true as it was all those other times. (But probably more so now.)
I got wonderful friends, a group of coworkers that are as offbeat as I am, and I’m not really extremely broke (compared to the Ibaraki days).
I’m eating out on the town, drinking ’til last train, and taking spur-of-the-moment day trips on my days off. It’s like I’m never home anymore.
But there goes time, lurking in the shadows,
Breathing down my neck,
As parts of me silently get sucked away. Indulging in the wine + spirits of Now, I never notice the vampires.
With a cold chu-hi in one hand, and a list of dreams-in-progress in the other, I tipsily walk the narrow line between hedonism and epicureanism. Am I indulging too much? Or am I simply living my present life to the fullest; while the future I’m trying to build continues to get pushed to a later date.
Maybe that’s the one sorta negative thing about having dreams: even when you’re not working on them they’re always floating around in your mind. Saying things like:
“Yeah, you’re having an awesome time with your friends right now, but what about that article?”
“You keep hanging out like this every weekend and you might as well settle for being broke forever.”
Everything tells us to live our lives in the moment, to love each second as if it were the last one on Earth. Yet logic tells me otherwise. There’s gotta be a balance between enjoying the fruits of Now, and planting the seeds which will make the Future Nows that much more sweeter.
I briefly lost touch with that balance. Because I forgot that planting the fruit is just an awesome experience as eating it too.
Writing can get frustrating at times. Some days my writing sounds just as bad as my conversational language: all garbled words, randomness and run-on sentences. Other days it’s all flowing perfectly and I have no idea why. This frustration of not being able to produce good work—and knowing it’s not good—discourages me from writing altogether sometimes. But the paradox of it all: I gotta keep creating shit until it becomes gold. I have to enjoy the hard work—the planting—so I can enjoy those fruits later.
Creating for tomorrow is just as much a part of living in the moment as embracing the Now. It all depends on your mentality. Don’t even think about tomorrow when creating. Just see it as a fleeting moment to be embraced. Just like every other effervescent, fleeting, spontaneous moment you’ve ever had. Because it’ll be gone, just like that.
Jam for this Moment: Time Vampires
Sorry I’ve been away, articles are going up every so often on GaijinPot, not so much here. I gotta few Time Vampires to kill.